Friday, July 20, 2012

Loving Without Regret

Here's the thing that's different about loving as a teenager and loving as an adult. Sometimes when you grow up, you actually "grow up" and realize that every experience, good and bad, got you to where you are in this moment. It shaped you for better or worse. It allowed you to love even more with your whole heart or it made you afraid to fully ever love at all. Either way, you were shaped by those experiences, and those that grow up from them realize that while you may be grateful and appreciative for all of the wonderful, amazing experiences, you should be even MORE grateful and appreciative for the ones that hurt you, that broke you, that taught who you are and what you are made of and what you can overcome. You should never regret those experiences.

With everything that has happened and everything that I felt over the last week (and with the tragedy in Colorado that happened overnight) the one thing that I've realized surprisingly is that through it all, not for one second did I regret one moment of love for "My Handsome" as I call him...and will forever call him (at least in my mind).  Even with the heartbreak I now feel, it's made me so happy to fall in love with him over the last couple of years.  So happy. 

I know I said that I don't know if I will trust another man again.  I obviously said that out of hurt and pain.  That's not true.  I'll eventually trust again.  I may even eventually trust "My Handsome" again.  Who knows?  But I must remember that regardless of how I go forth in this life, no matter what path I choose or what choices I make, I shall not regret one moment of it.

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