Thursday, December 29, 2011

Changing My Focus

It's getting to be that time of year again.  Yes, I'm talking about the end of it.  Time to put a close to all that has passed and that which was left undone.  I'm not sure if it's some sort of hormonal imbalance that I'm experiencing or a much deeper rooted issue, but I am feeling quite melancholy as the year ends without a real reason to be feeling this way.  This would be about the time where I would make a list of all the things that have improved since this time last year.  One of those "Change your focus, change your life" tools.  So let's get to it, shall we?

  1. I feel healthier and stronger than I did this time last year.  Last year I was plagued by a seemingly never ending series of colds.  I'm sure the flu was thrown in there as well, but regardless I was feeling sickly to say the least.  I'm not sure if it's the pycnogenol supplement my manfriend introduced me to or just an overall stronger immune system, but other than a slightly runny nose, I have so far escaped the coughing, hacking, sneezing, stuffy head crapola that seems to have plagued everyone around me already this season.  *knock wood*
  2. Professionally, I have more comfort over the security of having a consulting gig that should take me at least through mid-November 2012.  This time last year I only had a gig lined up that would take me through March.  Here's hoping that by this time next year, I'll have landed something more...permanent.
  3. Financially, I have a bit more debt this year than I did last year.  Granted this is not a situation that has improved, but I have a firmer grasp over my financial situation from an awareness standpoint and a clear plan on how to get this situation handled.  Last year it was more of a "vague idea" of where I was financially.
  4. Socially, this time last year I was friends with everybody and their sister.  This year, I have taken a hard look at who these friends really are and what they bring (or don't) to the table and have brought a few in closer and moved a majority into the outer circles.  This is something that's always hard for me to do, but in taking care of me, the review of my circle has become an emotional necessity.
  5. And last, but so far from least it's not even funny, romantically....I have someone special in my life.  He was in my life last year, but he's wiggled his way even further into it becoming someone even more...special.  This situation, it's so hard for me to trust in it and I want to so badly.  I'm trying.  Really hard.  I'm curious as to what I will say about this next year.

Ok, fine.  I feel a little better, but not enough to make me want to do anything more than hibernate under the covers and not come out for at least a week.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

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