Wednesday, August 10, 2011

It's All About Timing....

Have you ever noticed how your past shows back up in your life with the most amazing timing?  You could have gone years without thinking about your past, and then finally...just as you start to move forward again, your past comes back as if you had put out a bulletin that says "Hey, I'm moving on so if you still want in this game speak now or forever hold your peace!"

Now I haven't had a plethora of men in my life.  I've had my fair share, but I suspect the number of men I have had relations with (physical or otherwise) are far fewer than the average of women my age.  But one thing is aggravatingly consistent, and I'm thinking it's a phenomenon that occurs with my peers as well, is the reappearance of past "friends" just as I start really moving on with a new one.

Thus the re-emergence of whom I shall call The Conductor...and by conductor I mean of music and not trains.  The Conductor was one of the few times where I had no interest in pursuing an actual relationship other than the physical one and the fun conversational one we had.  I actually first met him in the 8th grade, became really good friends with him and then realized at the 8th grade graduation dance the night before I moved halfway across the country that he was who I really was crushing hard for all along.  Isn't that always the way?  Fast forward 15 years and through some social website I came across him, saw that he was now living locally where I was and then contacted him. 

Of course. 

A few drink/dinner dates that extending into nights, and I realized my curiosity that I had from the 8th grade was fully satisfied.  While I was incredibly proud of who had become professionally, I was disappointed in the man he had become...at least when looking at a potential relationship.  Just so happened that he wasn't all that interested in anything more than a casual physical relationship with me either.

Life intervened in this, uh, fling a couple of months into it, and we stopped seeing each other.  Seemed that some scheduling conflict always got in the way.  Then we stopped talking.  Then he moved to finish his doctorate.  We never really conversed after he moved, but we were "friends" on Facebook so it wasn't long before I saw that he had met "The One" and was getting married after settling in the middle of the country.  Other than seeing a random status update on my Facebook timeline, I never gave him another thought really, and I assumed he didn't think of me either.  Well, you know what people say about making assumptions...

This past Monday, after returning home from a really wonderful weekend in LA, the Conductor pops up on Facebook chat.  Two lines of conversation into the chat, and he starts talking about how great I look in my profile pic, and how I still have "the goods."  There might have even been a comment about his memory of my "girls" and how great they looked in the picture.  WTF?!?  Remember when I said I was disappointed in the man he had become?  This is the kind of thing I was talking about.  Dude is married now.  Not that that should prevent him from appreciating how me or any other female looks, but by conversing in the way he was with me about it just felt wrong.

Anyhow, I couldn't help but marvel at the timing of this conversation let alone the actual conversation.  Do we women (or men) unknowingly send out a bat signal to our past when we've actually started moving on?



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