Friday, July 29, 2011

One of my favorite things to do....

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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Too Much...

Too much.  Today feels too much...and I'm exhausted both mentally and physically.  I'm sure it has to do with the health of my physical being and everything being off balance by the off balance in my diet over the last several months.  I mean, did you see my post the other day about the food that has crossed my path?  Yummy - but definitely not conducive to a happy vibrant Michelle.

I'm returning to the Metabolic Balance diet to center my metabolism and hormones as well as drop the weight that I've gained back since I was last on it.  As boring as the diet was for this foodie...and that was the worst part about it for me, otherwise it was a cakewalk...I was able to easily drop the weight and feel healthy in the quickest timeframe.  I'm not gonna front's not just about the health.  I'd like to be able to look at myself both clothed and naked and feel good about it, especially if someone other than myself will most likely be looking as well....

In the meantime, this weekend I'm gonna hang with some girlfriends from college that I haven't seen in a while.  We were finally able to sync up a weekend where we were all free.  Mani/pedis, a few drinks, BBQ, relaxation and a lot of girl talk on the agenda.  And. I. So. Need. It.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2011


I can vouch for everything said here...except from the guy's point of view.  Boys?  How about it?  True?

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Monday, July 25, 2011

Another One of Those Lists....

I don't know why I like to keep doing these lists..and even worse, post them on here, but I do.  I guess it's a form of self exploration.  Whatever it is, here is another one I came across...with my answers, of course. :)

1. one person you couldn’t live without and why.  I used to think there were people in my life I couldn't live without until I was forced to go on living without them.  I don't know that this person exists.  I just know that without certain people in my life, it definitely makes it harder.

2. something that irritates you beyond belief.  Consistent inconsideration of other people.  Someone who comes from a place of "I" "I" "I" all the time.  God I can't stand that.

3. have you ever broken the law? how?  Ummm...well I ripped a street sign off of the post on a street where I temporarily lived once.  I just liked it.  :)  It's placed on the door frame of my closet in my bedroom still.  Yeah, I'm a rebel.  You think I'm going to cop to anything else publicly?

4. do you have any piercings? how many and where?  2 - one in each ear

5. do you have any tattoos? how many and where? what are they?  Nope - and because I still can't commit to a location after I don't even know how many years, I probably never will...but if I were to get one, it would be of a lotus with purple and pink shading.

6. how many relationships have you been in?  3 - I would say 4, but one asshole apparently didn't even consider consistently taking me out on dates for 3 months "dating" so...3.  And some random others sprinkled in there for amusement.

7. have you ever been in love?  Yes

8. how many people have you had sexual relations with?  Define "sexual relations."  Hahaha Those who want to know can ask.  But that doesn't mean I'll answer everyone....I'm sure as hell not publicizing a number either.  Where did I get these questions again.

9. are you a relationship person or someone who just likes to hook up?  Relationship person.  I'm not really wired emotionally to be any other way. 

10. do you smoke? what do you smoke?  Not anymore but my previous smoke of choice was Marlboro Lights.

11. how many people do you really trust?  Define "really" ...this one's hard.  I have people I have placed my trust in.  I'll leave it at that.

12. do you consider yourself friendly or a “loner”?  Both

13. you are getting arrested. what for?  Is this for something you can really get arrested for?  Probably trespassing would be my worst offense.

14. are you close with your family?  Half of them.

15. do you prefer the beach, the countryside, the mountains, or the city? why?  If I could only choose one, it would be the beach.  Water is my center.  It opens my spirit and allows me to breathe.

16. name your ideal date.  Intimate energy, phenomenal conversation, good food, good music, good loving :)

17. name five qualities your ideal partner would have.  I have about 2 pages full listed in a journal somewhere when I sat down to think about what I would way I'm narrowing that down to 5.

18. are you a night owl or an early bird?  By nature - night owl.

19. where do you spend more time thinking: in the shower or in bed at night?  The shower!  My best thinking happens in the shower.  Like I said before, some sleep on it.  I bathe.

20. the person who has done the most wrong to you apologizes. who is it? what did they do? do you accept their apology?  The who and what is between us, but yes I accepted the apology.

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Friday, July 22, 2011

Hello, My Name is Michelle and I am a Foodie

If there ever was a question about my status as a foodie, one need not look further than the pictures I posted on Twitter in the last week of the yumminess that has passed my lips...

The ultimate in hangover food.  Yes, I am fully aware of the miraculousness that is Taco Bell, IHOP, Dennys, White Castle, Steak n Shake and In N Out at 2am when all a girl needs after a night of drinking is some quality grease.  I have experienced them all.  But if given my choice, and I could acquire this from any location I happen to be after a night of partying...then this is would be what I would choose:

Photo by Me

That's right - chicken and waffles...with a side of mac n cheese and cheese grits for good measure.  This hangover feast was acquired at the House of Chicken and Waffles in Oakland at Jack London Square.  And it was perfection.

Next up....more mac n cheese (did I mention I was hormonal this week as well?)...this time from a place in SF called Focaccia.  Love this place.  Everything is fresh and real quality food.  And this mac and die for. 

Photo by Me

And what is PMS week without some ice cream...or for a foodie...gelato...actually I would have preferred frozen custard but they have no clue what it is so many other yummy things from the midwest... This gelato was obtained at a little shop about 2 minutes away from where I live.  Truth be told, it's really not the best gelato...not even close really....but it worked for my purposes

Photo by Me

Next of my favorites...a grilled cheese sandwich.  I've loved this sandwich for as long as I can remember.  My favorite version is the one I make, of course: white bread or brioche, butter, 2 or 3 different cheeses...and maybe a touch of garlic every once in a while.  But this one below that I ate the other day was pretty darn good.  And yes, I did walk 6 blocks to the Ferry Building to get this one instead of getting a random grilled cheese across the street from my office.  Why this grilled cheese?  Well it's made with cheese and butter from Cowgirl Creamery (the sandwich was actually purchased at the Cowgirl Creamery stand) and bread from Acme Baking Company next door.  Quality ingredients. Period.

Photo by Me

Now there is a picture missing here.  I went back to the Ferry Building yesterday because there was a Farmer's Market.  And when there's a Farmer's Market, there's some fabulous eats for lunch.  And boy did I have a fabulous eat.  There's not a picture because...well, I really couldn't wait to inhale it and so, I didn't.  But here's what it was:  a pork confit sandwich with fresh herbs, market salad, kimchee with chili chorizo aioli from 4505 Meats.  One of the longest lines at the market and for good reason.

But I finally found dim sum in San Francisco that I like.  And usually for really good dim sum, I go outside of San Francisco for it.  However, I thought I would give this place a try...they have a To Go corner of the restaurant for lunch take-out and the restaurant is Michelin rated, so why not?

Photo by Me

The verdict:  yes, Yes, YES!  Fresh, flavorful, well done dim sum.  This may be where the majority of my lunch money is headed for the next little while...

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Apparently I'm Hormonal...

There are two songs that keep popping up in my head this morning.  I love both of these songs intimately, but they when I listen to them I actually feel a physical pain in my a painful longing.  I don't know why they are showing up or what my emotions are trying to tell me...but so it is.

The first song is from the Beatles/Paul McCartney.  I have to say that there's not many songs sung by Paul McCartney that I can't identify with in my life.  When I saw him perform this song not all that long ago a few rows from the stage, I was moved to tears....

This next one by Barry Manilow....this one Barry actually saw me boo-hooing to it about five years ago at his show at the Las Vegas Hilton.  How embarrassing...but I had no idea I would have that reaction...I just couldn't even control it. *shaking my head at my damn self*.

Oh my God I'm boohooing again watching this.  Dang these effing hormones....but why?  Why these songs right now? 

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Thursday, July 21, 2011


Photo credit:  No idea.  Found it during a Google search, but damn it's hot, right?

“He loved her, he loved her, and until he’d loved her she had never minded being alone.”

~ Truman Capote

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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Where My Mind Is Today....

I can almost feel the water on my toes and the breeze wafting through my hair....

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Monday, July 18, 2011

Keeping Up...

So much has happened in the last week or so that it's been hard for me to keep up with the blogging thing here and share the info...not like anyone's reading it anyway, but you know...

Last week I had some devastating news pop up in my life.  News that was 8 years old...but news that I definitely would not have been able to handle in 2003 when it went down.  2003 was like 1994 to me...tragic, painful, almost impossibly horrible.  2003 was when the events in my life added to what I still had not recovered from in 1994 took me down, and I mean shut my body down making me bedridden for 9 months with illness.  It was no joke. 

It's been a long road to who I am now, who I continue to evolve into.  In the last couple of months, I've had the most amazing dreams come true.  Dreams once considered by me to be impossible.  Ricky Martin...Tim McGraw...and most recently New Kids on the Block...a dream 23 years in the making. But after having all three of them occur within such a short period of time of each other in the same summer, I was anxious about it.  I mean, not that I'm second guessing life, but I feared what might be coming that I "needed" these things to be happening in my life to hang on to.  My mom has told me every time I've experienced a dream in the last decade or so that my dad had a hand in it.  That he is trying to find ways to make up for him not being here, for what I had to endure.  And I felt that anyway because I could feel him...and these experiences usually occurred around the timeframe of my birthday.  He's never forgotten.  But having him stack up these dream experiences one on top of each other had me worried.  He knew what I had hung on to to make it through the events of the past.  What was coming that he was giving me the live versions of my safety nets?

It was news.  Devasting news.  News 8 years old but a continuation of the pain that had started with my dad's death.  News that came right smack dab in the middle of the week when I was still basking in the glow from the previous weekend. News that I started to drown in and was having a hard time swimming my way out of...but at least I was swimming this time.  News that brought up the pain of the loss of my dad.

When I've had a hard time with verbalizing what it is I'm feeling, I say it with this was the music I posted on Facebook last week upon hearing the news:

And then that brought my feelings about my dad, and what continues to be in my heart to this day....

And as fate would have it, I had fun plans already scheduled for this past weekend as some friends from Canada would be in town ...and I couldn't wait for the distraction.  But I was scared that I would either bring the party down with the energy that I was bringing to it or that as much fun as I anticipated having, it wouldn't be enough to distract me.  But those fears went unfounded when I had another friend unexpectantly arrive as well...the one I really needed and wanted to see.  The friend that had no idea what I had been going through the few days before but showed up as if he knew I needed him to be there and was everything I needed him to be.  Now I want more time with him...but that's another post for another time... 

An extreme low sandwiched in between extreme highs...a sequence I can only thank my dad for helping to arrange...and as always, incredibly grateful for the way it all unfolded.

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Thursday, July 14, 2011

More About Me....

1.Height:  5'6.5" or 5'7" - depends on how confident I feel that day

2.Shoe Size: 8.5

3.Sexual Orientation:  surprise just kidding...straight, but can appreciate an attractive female

4.Do you Smoke?  Every once in a great longer regularly

5.Do you Drink?  Not as often as I used to...

6.Do you Take Drugs?  Nope

7.Age you get mistaken for:  Usually in age in my 20's...on really good days I get carded :)

8.Have Tattoos?  No - I can't commit to a location

9.Want any tattoos  Yes, but see #9

10.Got any Piercings?  One in each ear.  I have enough holes in my body....

11.Want any piercings?  Not more than I already have.

12.Best friend?  I used I have a group of close friends.  If I had to narrow it down, it would be my mom.

13.Relationship status:  Single...and okay with it.  Would rather be single and a little lonely every once in a while than be with someone just to have someone there

14.Biggest turn ons:  a great smile...someone that can make me laugh...someone that remembers and notices things that I wouldn't expect...and yes, I am thinking of someone specifically that has these traits

15.Biggest turn offs: ego, wandering eyes, indifference

16.Favorite Movie: I have about a hundred of them...pick a romcom and it's probably on the "favorite's list"

17.I’ll love you if: you are loyal and kind

18.Someone you miss: my dad

19.Most traumatic experience:  my dad's death

20.A fact about your personality:  I am loyal to a fault.  I may not seem to always be there for someone, but my heart is.

21.What I hate most about myself:  That I hold on to the negative things I feel about myself and believe them more than the positive.

22.What I love most about myself:  If I really want something, I will find a way, no matter how long it takes.

23.What I want to be when I get older:  Confident and even more comfortable in my own skin

24.My relationship with my sibling(s): Non-existent...considering I have no siblings. :)

25.My relationship with my parents:  Love - that's all that needs to be said here.

26.My idea of a perfect date:  It's never about the location or the event, but the person and the energy between us and the quality of the time spent.  I'm a foodie though, so if good food is involved, it doesn't hurt. :)

27.My biggest pet peeves:  people who have a "woe is me" attitude...constantly asking for attention and not finding the value in asking for help or putting on your big girl panties and just getting it done.  I appreciate someone who gets the difference between needing to ask for help and just being plain lazy or needy.

28.A description of the girl/boy I like:  Handsome, charming, beautiful, gorgeous smile, kind heart, kind eyes, generous...and has a way with words that makes me blush like no other

29.A description of the person I dislike the most:  see #27

30.A reason I’ve lied to a friend:  to spare their feelings

31.What I hate the most about school:  that's it's over...I love school.  If I could make a living being a student, I totally would.

32.What my last text message says: xo

33.What words upset me the most:  Words left unsaid...what hurts me the most is the goodbyes that are never voiced.

34.What words make me feel the best about myself:  You are beautiful - when I know they aren't speaking about only about my appearance

35.A wish that I’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11:  Health and love for all who reside in my heart

36.What I find attractive in boys/girls.  Didn't I kind of answer this already?  See #14 and #28

37.Where I would like to live.  In a lovely beach house by the ocean.  That's the dream.

38.One of my insecurities.  That I'm not enough for someone to want to stay...

39.My childhood career choice.  an actress or an obstetrician...yeah, I know...weird combo...all I can say is that my interests are diverse

40.My favorite ice cream.  vanilla...because you can add things to it to make it taste any way you want...I'm all about starting with a good foundation. :)

41.Who I wish I could be.  No one.  I'm pretty happy being me...faults and all.

42.Where I want to be right now.  On a beach...near the ocean..on a sunny day...with nice breeze...and a fruity adult beverage.

43.The last thing I ate.  A butterscotch lollipop

44.Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately.  I don't have 1, I have 4:  Donnie Wahlberg, Ricky Martin and Tim McGraw...the 4th hopefully knows who he is...and if he doesn't, I'll be pointing him to this blog post.

45.A random fact about anything  A nap would be perfection right about now.

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