Friday, April 1, 2011

The Story

I did something yesterday.  It's not something that I haven't done before.  I shared the link to my blog with someone who has been written about in here....though so many posts have been written generically that some entries he may think pertains to him...may not.  It's not that I wasn't going to share the thoughts and feelings I felt I could not express in person.  It's just I had always thought that I would do it like I did previously with those that I cared about...long after it was over...after I had time to reflect, appreciate, and lay down a summary of it in words that I felt was fair to the situation and to my feelings rather than bring the person into the confusing back and forth way that my posts sometimes go when I don't know where my feelings stand and I'm still trying to figure them out. 

So dear friend who has not been given a nickname in here yet like Blue Eyes or the All American, if you are reading this, please know that every word I have written was true and how I felt in the moment I was writing it and with the emotion of whatever else was happening in that day or whoever else happened across my path.  Hopefully it doesn't contradict anything that I've told you outside of this blog.  And if something you read confuses you, concerns you, freaks you out...please just ask and not assume....as I have been guilty of doing so many times throughout my life.  As an intended lifelong friend at the very least, I want you to know me.  And this is me...the confusing, frustrating, fun, intelligent, independent, annoying, aggravating, loving, caring chick you are still getting to know.  Keep reading.  You want to know what moves me?..who I am?...pay attention to the music I talk about.

When you read through this blog you will see references to songs and lyrics. This is the sountrack of my life. The right music for the moment seems to show up for me that expresses what I'm having a rough time expressing. Last night was the Musical Event of Grey's Anatomy. Now music is no stranger to this show and has been successfully used to convey the emotions of the storyline many times. Athough I'm not sure that I'm a fan of the musical integration with many of the characters singing throughout, the one performance by Sara Ramirez at the end of it...well she just killed it. And it was perfect for what I was feeling with everything that happened yesterday, professionally and personally.  Needless to say I was bawling by the end of it.  If I could hit all the notes, I would have belted it out myself.

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am...





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