Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I am not falling....

Contrary to what my last couple of posts may have led you to believe, I am not falling...in love...for anyone...head over heels...down a flight of stairs, etc.  The reason for the running theme on this blog lately is because this whole "not falling" has me perplexed.  This is the part in the story where I normally would be falling.  Falling hard.  Falling deep. Falling to certain eventual devastation.  So since this is new territory for me, I do what I always do.  I think about it. I think about it A LOT.  I overthink it actually - because really if it's more than a passing thought I'm totally overthinking it.  It probably doesn't help that I'm way hormonal this week as well, so every emotion seems a bit more amplified than what it would be normally.  At least, that's what I want to believe.

Does it sound like I'm rambling? Because I so am. Rambling.  This seems to be another one of those situations of being careful what you wish for.  The last time I fell for someone, I fell all the way in love...and when that wasn't reciprocated and the friendship that came with it quickly went away as well, my wish was that my heart wouldn't fall so fast or so hard.  And that wish and ability I acquired served me well for the past few years.  But now we have come to someone.  Someone that at some point I may want to allow myself to fall for.  Someone that at some point may want me to fall for him.  And I may not be able to.  Is that possible?


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