Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Someone To Take Me Home


[courtesy of Brittney Preteaus]

It's not often that I let someone into my world close enough to see my vulnerabilities. To allow them into my inner sanctum, if you will. It's even more rare that I allow them to know that they're even there when it happens. So rare, in fact, that I don't think any one of the men that has been in my life has really known...until recently. Honestly, I still don't know how I feel about it - other than it scares the shit out of me. There have been so many times I have wished I could be that one night stand girl...that one that can live in the moment and be thrilled with just that moment. I'm just not. As Kelly Clarkson sings:

Oh, no I do not hook up, I fall deep
'Cause the harder you try, the harder I'll fight to say
Goodnight

Oh sweetheart put that bottle down
Cause you don't wanna miss out...

What I do know is that I have music anchored to certain feelings and life events, and for what I'm feeling now, a return of a song that I know has shown up on here and my other blog a couple of times, and will no doubt show up again many more times before all is said and done...until someone has indeed come to take me home. This song describes me at 17...and at 27...but not so much at 34. I've let go of most of that...I've grown up...learned my lessons...became the woman I am now. But this girl in the song didn't fully die...she still pops up every once in a while. I hate to admit it, but I think there will always be a little bit of a beautiful disaster that lives within me.

In a way, by sharing this song on here, I'm letting all of you into an area of my inner sanctum as well. Please be gentle.




Beautiful Disaster

performed by Jon McLaughlin

She loves her mama's lemonade,
Hates the sounds that goodbyes make.
She prays one day she'll find someone to need her.
She swears that there's no difference,
Between the lies and complements.
It's all the same if everybody leaves her.

And every magazine tells her she's not good enough,
The pictures that she sees make her cry.

And she would change everything, everything just ask her.
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster,
And she needs someone to take her home.

She's giving boys what they want, tries to act so nonchalant,
Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction.
She never stays the same for long,
Assuming that she'll get it wrong.
Perfect only in her imperfection.

She's not a drama queen,
She doesn't want to feel this way, only seventeen but tired

She would change everything for happy ever after.
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster,
But she just needs someone to take her home.

Cuz she's just the way she is, but no ones told her that's ok.

And she would change everything, everything just ask her.
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster,

And she would change everything for happy ever after.
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster,

But she just needs someone to take her home
And just needs someone to take her home



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1 comment:

  1. That is a very nice blog! Thank you for letting me in your world! Take care......

    ReplyDelete

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