Thursday, May 28, 2009

To Tell or Not To Tell? That is the Question...

I originally posted the following email the day after my "True Love" post.  Tomorrow, I'll let you know if he actually responded...

I expect to pass through this life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.”

        -William Penn

So after my long blog yesterday, I emailed Mr. Blue Eyes and asked him to read the blog.  What was I thinking?  It was late at night.  I was tired and delirious after going back down memory lane.  It's completely selfish of me to want him to know how I was feeling, I know...Especially if he's with someone now.  I'm not sure if I even have his correct email address.  I never got his personal one; I just had his work email, and I don't even know if he works there anymore.  But it didn't get kicked back to me as that address not existing on that domain, so that's a good sign.  That's probably telling of the whole situation right there.  He wanted me close...but not too close.  At least not close enough to have his personal email address....though I do have his cell number.  What I'm really hoping for is that he'll email me and say that he's married...or that he's getting married...or that he's been with a girlfriend for a while now.  I really want that closure.  What if he's not in any of those situations?  Well, I hope he's happy in whatever situation he's in.  I really want that for him. 
Either way, it's nice to know that someone really cares about you - even if you don't really feel the same way - in that way - back.  I've lost too many people in my life and never told them how I felt.  Now, I'll never get the chance.  I'd like to think that they knew - that they were truly loved -  but I don't know.  They were taken too quickly from this life.  So, selfish or not...I'm going to tell people.  Life is too short to beat around the bush or leave things unsaid - especially when they're good things.

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