Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Our Deepest Fear

[photo via enamour]

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. "

Marianne Williamson

This quote moved me to tears the moment that I heard it quoted while watching Akeelah and the Bee. It moved me to tears a second time when there was a narration toward the end of the movie. Why did it move me so? Because someone has verbalized what I have been trying to come to terms with within myself for years now. I have been "dumbing myself down" by gaining weight, by dressing in a way that doesn't draw too much attention, by keeping somewhat in the background except when it can't be helped or no one would believe that I would not rise further toward the top. I've been trying to stay more in the middle ground because that's where my comfort level resides; that's where the people in my life are comfortable with me residing. I've been afraid to lose what I've grown accustomed to because I've lost so much so early on in my life. But you know what? I'm just wasting my life away - not in a destructive, drugged out or drunk way, but by being mediocre - which I am SO not. I may lose a few friends or people I'm currently close to along the way, but it's so much worse to go through an entire lifetime only to reach the end and realize that I've lost myself.


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