Sunday, May 31, 2009

New Moon Trailer

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Friday, May 29, 2009

Waiting to Exhale

Two weeks later, I got this response from Mr. Blue Eyes (these posts were all in 2006):

So, I got a response.  A response back from Mr. Blue Eyes.  He read the memoir about him from August 2.  Here's the important info from his email - First, he's been crazy busy, which is normally an excuse, but in our line of work, I totally get why there was a long response time.  Plus, I figured after reading that post, there definitely had to be time to figure out how exactly to respond to it.  I mean, how would anyone respond to someone who wrote about them being their first love and liking the person, but not in that way?  And second...and this did not help in the closure department...he is still single.  I'm disappointed because I wanted the permanent closure, but honestly I'm not all that surprised.
I didn't realize I was holding my breath in anticipation of his response, until I just exhaled deeply a few minutes ago after reading it.  I guess in some ways there is closure.  Now there is no question about what happened from my end.  He knows everything.  I've literally held nothing back.  And I don't regret one word of it.  I can now move on....and I see the path laid out in front of me that wasn't there before....

Have I moved on?  It's 2009.  I'm still single.  And I'm not gonna lie and say that my heart doesn't still tug at me a bit at the thought of him.  But I am excited, really excited even at the prospect of feeling something even more intense for someone - and even better, experience what it feels like for them to feel that intensely back at me.  Ooh...just got tingles.  ;-)

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

To Tell or Not To Tell? That is the Question...

I originally posted the following email the day after my "True Love" post.  Tomorrow, I'll let you know if he actually responded...

I expect to pass through this life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.”

        -William Penn

So after my long blog yesterday, I emailed Mr. Blue Eyes and asked him to read the blog.  What was I thinking?  It was late at night.  I was tired and delirious after going back down memory lane.  It's completely selfish of me to want him to know how I was feeling, I know...Especially if he's with someone now.  I'm not sure if I even have his correct email address.  I never got his personal one; I just had his work email, and I don't even know if he works there anymore.  But it didn't get kicked back to me as that address not existing on that domain, so that's a good sign.  That's probably telling of the whole situation right there.  He wanted me close...but not too close.  At least not close enough to have his personal email address....though I do have his cell number.  What I'm really hoping for is that he'll email me and say that he's married...or that he's getting married...or that he's been with a girlfriend for a while now.  I really want that closure.  What if he's not in any of those situations?  Well, I hope he's happy in whatever situation he's in.  I really want that for him. 
Either way, it's nice to know that someone really cares about you - even if you don't really feel the same way - in that way - back.  I've lost too many people in my life and never told them how I felt.  Now, I'll never get the chance.  I'd like to think that they knew - that they were truly loved -  but I don't know.  They were taken too quickly from this life.  So, selfish or not...I'm going to tell people.  Life is too short to beat around the bush or leave things unsaid - especially when they're good things.

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

True Love and the Perfect Person

I decided to repost this from a previous blog that I had because Mr. Blue Eyes seems to keep popping up in my life periodically.  If I'm gonna share how I'm feeling when he does show up now, there needs to be some background to refer here we go.

And in case you're curious if Mr. Blue Eyes read the following post when originally published, stay tuned tomorrow....

"True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

Jason Jordan

For those of us who are still looking for that person to share the rest of our lives many of us are looking for the "perfect" person, and how many of us are looking for the person perfect for each of us?

I think I spent most of my 20's looking for the perfect person, and I had this idea (every female has an idea whether they admit to it or not) that this perfect person was going to be tall, have dark hair, be handsome, and have blue eyes....basically Prince Charming in reality.  Not only that, but he was going to fall madly in love with me and treat me like Cinderella.  This was my idea of the perfect person.  I didn't have anything too concrete down about any other specific attributes he should have, but hey...he was Prince Charming, so he should naturally do everything RIGHT.  How delusional was I?

Or was I?

About 8 or 9 years ago at work, I got booked to a client that seemed to be having a lot of problems in getting their IPO off the ground.  It wasn't a normal client of mine.  I walked into the conference room at this new client apprehensively - I hadn't worked with anyone on our team before, and I knew the vibe would be intense.  Then I looked up...and saw him.  Dark hair, blue eyes, handsome...and when he finally got out of his chair...tall too!  It was the first time in my life with one look, the following thought flashed through my mind: 

"I could marry him."

 Oh sure - I've had the "OMG, he is so hot!" and the "Wow - he's cute!" thoughts run through my head before when an attractive man crossed my path.  But it was the first time that I looked at someone and in the calmest of thoughts think that I could marry that person.  It was literally the first time I ever laid eyes on him.  I had no idea what his name was, how old he was, what level within our firm he was...nothing.  And to me - it didn't matter.  There was just something that clicked within me. 

So we worked together for a couple of weeks.  Pretty early on I found out he had a girlfriend, one that he had for a few years already...and that he's Mormon.  I thought well okay; this one is as good as married.  He would never tell me how old he was, but I figured he was probably around my age or a couple of years older.  During those weeks and those long hours at work, he and I would take breaks and just kind of talk.  It was nice and the most comfortable I felt with someone in a long time.  I found out he definitely was not perfect, but somehow that was ok with me.  After that project was over, we said hello to each other whenever we saw each other in the office, but never spent any more time together in any kind of setting.

Two years passed...and then an announcement came from our regional leadership at our big annual meeting for a short-term assignment in Boston.  They needed 4 or 5 of us there for a 7 week be set and ready to begin work the following week.  Guess who came up to me after the meeting was over?  You guessed it - Mr. Blue Eyes.  He was wondering what I thought about it, and I think he overheard me saying that I wanted to do it. 

The following week, me, Mr. Blue Eyes and a couple of other ladies from our office were in Boston ready to go.  Over the course of the following weeks Mr. Blue Eyes and I became really close friends – emotionally close - really fast.  We shared a lot of long talks - intimate talks about religion, how we each wanted to raise children, what kind of marriages we wanted to get the idea.  We talked about a lot of things couples don't even talk about.  By the way, did I mention that he broke up with that long-term girlfriend not all that long prior to leaving for Boston?  

Over the course of these conversations, the initial crush I had turned into something more, something much deeper, something that I was quickly losing control of.  It seemed though, that maybe this time, he might be feeling the same way.  I asked another co-worker, who had over the weeks also become a close girlfriend, help me look objectively to the situation to make sure I wasn't reading too much into his actions.  I had a tendency - as we all do from time to time - to see only the things that I wanted to see.  I wanted to make sure my eyes were wide open this time to see everything.  It wasn't just me that noticed something different about our interactions, she had too...maybe this WAS it.

One night not too long before we were to leave Boston and return home, he and I had another one of those deep conversations.  By this time, it had become habit for him to come over to my apartment every night before he went back to his place and went to bed - that is if we already weren't hanging out.  Also by this time, I had become so in tune with his energy, I could feel him when he was near - even if I couldn't see him.  It was something I had never experienced before and haven't experienced since.  Well, after this particular deep conversation, I had such overwhelming emotions, and we were talking about things so personal to us, that I felt like I was lying to him by not telling him how I felt.  I mean, if he knew I felt about him, would he still feel ok about sharing this part of himself with me? 

That night, after he left to go back to his apartment...I called.  I just couldn't stand it anymore.  I told him I had feelings for him (completely understating the situation).  He said he was flattered...and didn't know what else to say.  He handled the phone call well.  His actions that followed in the days and weeks after, however - not so good.    I had hoped if nothing else that he would be able to still be really good friends, but I guess he was just too weirded out by the whole thing.  I couldn't believe I had read the situation so wrong.  I mean, to everyone outside of us, it almost appeared as if we were dating.  I had made sure that I was seeing something that other people could see as well before I said anything.  I was devastated. 

We returned home and over the next couple of years we had moments where it felt like a Boston flashback and moments where I knew that it would just never be the same.  It came to a point where I was able to process in my head what my heart had been feeling since that day I looked across the conference room.  I had fallen in love - really in love - for the first time in my life.  And I knew this because, it was the first time that I was able to let someone go without feeling like I had to desperately hold on to him.  I knew I had really fallen in love because I wanted more for his happiness more than I wanted him to be with me.  It was completely unselfish.

It's been a year since I've had contact with him.  Even then it was a short email to tell me about how busy he was with work, and it was 6 months since I heard from him then.  My heart's obviously not ready to let him go.  I still love him - really love him...all of the tall, dark haired, blue eyed imperfect man that he is.  I'd like to completely let him go - to move on, and I will.  I will when it's time for me to let him go.  I will when it's time for my heart to love again.  Until then, I'm going to treasure the fact that I now know what true love feels like, and I'm looking forward to the day when it's requited.

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Monday, May 25, 2009

Last Minute Trip to Vegas Anyone?

My baby is gonna be in Vegas on Friday night, hosting a performance at Jet for the Jabbowockeez. 

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Thursday, May 21, 2009

I'm Having A Day

Have you ever gone back in time to an emotion and not be able to get yourself back out of it?  This was my day today.  It hit me this morning that not only would I be replaying the realization of a 20-year dream not only once, but twice in a little over a month from now!  The dream of being face-to-face with New Kids on the Block again, that is.  Then I went into the thing that I really didn’t want to do:  I started playing in my head what I would say.  The planning thing…that’s what I was trying to avoid. 

Last year, it was completely organic.  I didn’t do any research.  Didn’t check out the boards, google up pictures – nothing.  I knew I was getting backstage for a photo op and meet and greet, but having done a few of these types of things before, I honestly wasn’t expecting much.  Wasn’t expecting actual time with the guys or anything.  I thought if I was lucky I might get some eye contact or even a quick smile – if I was REALLY lucky maybe even a hug.  What actually happened wasn’t like it was something so extraordinary.  Nobody got kissed.  Nobody proposed.  Nothing like that.  But because I had no expectations, everything that did happen above and beyond getting a picture taken with the boys was just extraordinary.  There was one particular thing that happened though – a moment where Donnie pulled me out of our hug to look into my eyes.  I was thisclose to going into the ugly cry because it had been sooo long since someone not just looked into my eyes, but really saw me.  That moment was what brought me to today…

So this morning when it hit me that I would not only get one opportunity, but two to have a similar experience, my mind immediately went back to that look and what I would say this time.  Because there would be another look. I don’t know why I have that certainty about it, but I do.  There will be another look.  And I did come up with something to say, which I’m not going to reveal here.  Let’s just say that it has something to do with being able to escape from what was going in my life at the time and willing my heart to continue beating…to hold on.  If he only knew…really knew what his existence in the world meant and still means to me.

Well, after that I went on about my day…commuted to the office, attended meetings, drafted memos, reviewed documents, mentored staff, and really just put that all out of my mind.  Until my Blackberry buzzed on my hip.  I pulled up Twitter, and there was this tweet from Donnie:

Have I told you all that in my darkest times.... You all lifted me up? You all came through and showed me such love! Your joy is my joy.

I about fell out of my chair.  My eyes instantly glistened with tears, and my heart was full.  I know he had not heard about what he meant to me in my darkest times (unless there was some telepathic communication happening unbeknownst to us). I know very well he was expressing that to everyone.  But the timing was coincidental, no? 


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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Metabolic Balance

I really was intending to post about this when I was ready to show off my “after” pictures.  But as I tend to do late at night on Twitter, I spilled about how thrilled I was with my results, and thus led to the requests about what it was I was doing to get the kind of the results I’ve been tweeting about, so here goes…

To understand how I got to this program, a quick background:

I was always a bit rounder even though there were periods of my life when I was fitter than others.  I’ve tried various methods of dieting, detoxing, etc. because I also have a family history of heart disease as well as being diagnosed with high cholesterol at the age of 9 myself, and have always had it ever since.  A little over 5 years ago, my lifestyle of physical and mental stress from my career, poor eating, and emotional stress with the life events that was happening over a period of a year really took a toll on my body and left me bedridden with chronic fatigue syndrome – for 9 months.  That in itself is a VERY long story, and not one which I will go into here, but needless to say that at the age of 29, I was not about to be told nothing could be done for me and that I would be faced to live the rest of my life that way.  I embarked on a complete life change and decided to work on me from the inside out.  This decision brought me to Tony Robbins and his programs.  Again, I could write a book about what Tony, those associated with him and the various other people that have crossed my path have done for my life and the course my life is now on, so I won’t go on into detail about that here either.  However, one of those very special people that crossed my path through the Tony Robbins program is a very special trainer, Doris.  She assisted me through a trying time during one of those events and always held a special place in my heart because of it.

Last December, I happened across some pictures of Doris at an event in FL, which I was supposed to attend and didn’t.  I couldn’t wait to see pictures of the fun and excitement of Leadership and Crew from that event because I totally missed not being there myself – very much like when everyone came back from the NKOTB cruise.  When I came across Doris’ picture, my jaw about hit the ground.  She had not only lost a significant amount of weight, but her face just glowed.  Her eyes sparkled.  In every group picture, it was Doris that jumped right out of the picture.  I was like, “WOW!  What the heck did you do??”

That question was quickly answered a few weeks later when Doris posted about her program on Facebook.  The program is called Metabolic Balance and originated in Germany.  It’s just now picking up momentum in the US.  To really generalize it, here are the basic lifetime principles of the program:

·        3 meals a day

·        Meals must be at least 5 hours from the end of one meal to the beginning of the next meal

·        No food or drinks between meals – except water

·        Drink 2L of water a day

·        Always eat your protein first

·        Always eat your fruit at the end of the meal

The last two has to do with keeping your blood sugar level stable.

Sounds really easy, right?

Well, there’s obviously more to it than that, so here is my experience:

With this program there is some coaching involved to assist with questions, keep you on track, help hold yourself accountable to accomplishing your goals, etc.  Luckily for me, the program worked so well for Doris, that she became a coach for Metabolic Balance.  So I contacted Doris with a simple, “I’m ready.”

She emailed me back an information form where I provided the standard information plus my weight, certain body measurements, and my goal weight.  There were also questions about any allergic reactions to food, was I taking medication, etc.  It’s important to say that this program does not make any claim on health improvements except to say that the purpose of this program is to reset your metabolism to its natural state using food that will work with your blood chemistry to do that.  Technically, participants of the program are required to have a medical check-up during the program as well, and I’m guessing it depends on the coach as to how strict they are about that.  Doris didn’t really insist on that with me, primarily because she knew I was already on top of my medical status.  I don’t know the specific of the programs calculations, and quite honestly, I don’t know that I care what they are.  If a by-product is that I’m eating significantly healthier, I lose some inches, my health does in fact improve but most importantly that I feel better, then they can keep their calculations a secret.

So once I completed the form and emailed it back to Doris (she actually lives in Austria and travels A LOT with all of the coaching and other things she does so we keep in contact through emails and conference calls), she sent me back a lab form for LabCorp, which has labs all over the country that is readily accessible for my bloodwork.  Did I forget to mention that?  You get some blood drawn to be analyzed, and then your food choices are determined based on the results of the bloodwork.

Everything is turned around pretty quickly, and you can get started in a few days depending on when you get tested, etc.  I got a lengthy report back, actually the full report.  I don’t think all of the information is normally provided like that to participants, but again, I know Doris.  Basically, it gave me 3 different meal choices each for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  The meals are laid out in serving size portions of protein and veggies (or fruit in the morning for breakfast), and your coach can tell you how to mix and match between lunch and dinner.  Then there’s a listing of foods personalized based on the results of the bloodwork, so you can choose which protein, vegetable, fruit, cheese, etc for each meal based on that list.  I was lucky, I actually got a pretty decent variety of foods that I normally enjoy eating, and they’re foods that you can find in any grocery store.  Nothing all that “exotic.”  The serving sizes are tailored as well based on your bloodwork and the other information you provided on the initial form.

But BEFORE any of the meals on the program are consumed, you have to go through a sort of cleansing of the body for 2 days for you to be ready to begin the program.  Not all that fun.

I’m gonna be honest, it hasn’t really been all that fun AT ALL until recently.  I am a foodie.  I will never give up that definition of myself for anyone.  I LOVE FOOD.  PERIOD.  So to limit myself from various other goodies involving sugar, bad fat, fried stuff, etc. was initially heartbreaking.  But what I decided was more heartbreaking than not having the food I loved was not really being the woman that I know I am and hiding behind the frequent illnesses and weight.  I never want to walk out of a room again and have my only regret of a perfect moment be that I wish I could have been seen at my best in every way.   

So I sucked it up.  I did the freakin’ two day fasting experience, with a nice laxative at the end to really clean the pipes – yes part of the program.  I started the plan and spent time measuring out every freakin’ serving of protein and vegetables for my meals for the week.  I didn’t partake in the annual Mother’s Day brunch where my mom and I would just stuff ourselves silly of yummy morsels. (Yeah, my mom was pretty bummed about that too because she didn’t want to eat the goodies if I wasn’t going to join her.)  I didn’t have ANY birthday cake or sweets on my own birthday.  First time that happened EVER.  Hell, last year I celebrated throughout the month of May and had 4 different cakes.  (Don’t get the wrong idea, everyone wanted to celebrate with me, so different groups brought cakes at different times.)  It wasn’t easy.  There were many nights where I would crave the most random things.  PB&J with Cheetos one night.  Hot fudge sundae the next.  Grilled cheese another afternoon.  My ultimate favorite – hot buttered popcorn cravings occurred all the freakin’ time!  Yes my friends, the last few weeks were at times excruciating, until….

I put on a couple of pairs of pants that a couple of weeks ago, I was busting out of them.  Not only can I now zip them up, but they’re LOOSE!  Hmmm…let’s see what the scale says.  Holy Toledo!  10 pounds down, just with changing my diet!  AND I felt better!  AND the weight was coming off differently with this program.  More evenly distributed in terms of where the fat actually was on my body.  Not just in my face or on my stomach, but from my thighs, my ass, and miracle of miracles, my arms – which never really happened before.  Time to bring the tape measure out!  No, it wasn’t just my imagination.  1 inch gone from each of my thighs!  1 inch gone from my hips!  3 inches gone from my waist!

Notice I never mentioned anything about exercise.  That’s because I didn’t do any the first couple of weeks.  Nothing.  Zip.  Nada.  Hell, I was going through enough mental cravings torture with the decision that I made.  I wasn’t going to add physical torture to it too and really press my luck on my mental stamina to stick with my original decision.  That all changed this week, however, when I started back with Bikram yoga (yes, the hot yoga), and with regular walking if I wasn’t going to yoga.  I’m determined to now do something physical every day no matter how minimal because I know the momentum of the eating change alone will start to level off rather quickly.  I mean, my body can’t keep dropping inches at this pace just with the eating differently, right?  Logically, that sounds right, and as proof, lost 3 more pounds in the last 3 days adding in the exercise.  Outside of the Bikram yoga, I’m not really doing anything Biggest Loser style in terms of physical activity.

Here’s what it comes down to:  Eating foods on the program specifically calibrated for my body chemistry, adhering to the guidelines of the program, and throwing in exercise when you’re ready for it.  I physically feel really great.  When I go to sleep now, there’s no more tossing and turning, and I sleep well through the night.  The inches are coming off very quickly, and I have a pep in my step again.  Life is good.

I will keep you all that are interested updated on my progress, and I promise to post pictures – when I finally reach my “AFTER” picture pose.  If you have any questions in between posts, feel free to hit me up.

For more information on Metabolic Balance, you can check out the following site:

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Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Life of A Blockhead

I came across the following post on the community through a re-tweet.  Now, if you're not familiar with the whole Twitter world, just skip over that part about how I came across the post.  It was so clever and well-written that instead of trying to put my own spin on it, well, I just asked the author if I could repost it here.  Thankfully, she said "yes!" so here we are.  Enjoy!

(By the way, if there was one thing I would add, it would be this:  Another reason why we do this, why we show up every time, why we put so much energy and love into this....we know what it's like to have loved and lost.  We know what it is to assume men so loved would always be there - together - and took it for granted.  We lost them for 15 years.  We're not about to lose them again anytime soon !  That, my friends, is the wisdom of a woman from lessons learned as a girl.)

We wake up in the morning, and we see their faces. They’re looking so good, everything’s in place!

No, really, being a blockhead is a very special, very rewarding experience. Unless you’re a Blockhead…you just don’t get it. It’s not like being a fan of say, Metallica, or 50 Cent. It’s not even like being a Fanilow. Blockheads are in a class of their own.

Blockheads get certain perks, like long lasting friendships, meet-ups, and after/before parties. We get videos and blogs. We even get cruises! The concerts are off the hook, and don’t get me started on the tweeting.

The day I realized this truly was something special was the day Donnie Wahlberg said in an interview “You know, all the fans keep telling us thank you for coming back, but they are the ones that deserve the thanks.”

That just blew me away. Us? Thanks? For what? Showing up? Without THEM, none of this would be possible. Without their families giving up time with their men. Without THEM giving up parts of their lives. And he wants to thank US? I just don’t get that. I can’t understand why us? They give up SO much, we just show up! The sacrifices they have made…

When you’re a blockhead you learn certain terminology like ‘Macanatomy’ and ‘Jontourage’. If you don’t know what ‘Jordangate’ or ‘Onlinegate’ is, you’re not a blockhead. Ever hear of the GML Divas? Do you see an owl and chuckle? How about Toni Spelelli or Watson? Don’t even get me started on TINK!

Do you see a picture of Joe in his Joker pants circa 1990 and think…omg, I have to post that in fashion disasters! (I would have picked the leather pants/net shirt combo, but to each their own…).

NKTV, “Let’s Get This” ,Jared, Twisted, “That’s how we roll”, Brownies, manscaping, “Leave Jon alone!”, right click SAVE!, mystery men, green lights, chocolate covered New Kids, palm fronds, bus stalking, the trinity church, HALLA!, facetime… all blockhead related. We get it. And that’s all that matters. We change words like Starbucks to Stahbucks. Supersoakers into supahsoakers, tractors into Tractahs. We rename body parts like ‘donnie’s onion’, the ‘macbooty’, we say ‘oh my Jord’ and ‘Oh Snap!’ Don’t understand? It’s ok. It’s a blockhead thing.

Above all that fun, there’s something more. There’s something better. There’s love. Love is the key to being a blockhead. You love your sistahs, you love the guys. And guess what? They love us back. And they make sure we know it! THAT’S where other groups, other celebs, fail. They just assume, they pass us by without even a glance. The guys…they look at us and wink. They smile, they do the LIP BITE and make us melt into a puddle of goo. And they do it knowing what effect it has. The power they hold in their hands! They say HI, they wave, they sign autographs and pose for pics. They blog, they take videos, they tweet, they shout out to us making us feel special. It never ends with them. Always something new, always above and beyond. THAT’S why we do it. THAT’S why we show up. THAT is what keeps us coming back for more!

So you think you know what a blockhead is? I doubt it. But it’s ok. You don’t NEED to understand. It’s our thing. It’s special to us. It’s sacred. We know we’re in our 30’s. We know we’re acting giddy and childish. It’s all in fun! It’s not real. It’s all in fun. It’s our escape. It’s OUR thing.

Watching twisted over and over, tweeting Joe 3000 times to get him to number one, writing radio stations angry letters because they wont play our guys, flaming a certain a-hole who talks smack on Jon, staying up until midnight to see what our next mission is, waiting for 6 days out in front of the Today Show studio IN THE RAIN so we can be sure to get the best seats… we do what we have to do… THEY do, we should too! It’s the LEAST we could do.
This has been an amazing year. Dreams were fulfilled; there were hugs and tears, smiles and laughter, music and love. It doesn’t get better than that folks. It just doesn’t. We’re a family, and if you missed out on it because of some image you have from 20 years ago…then I feel sorry for you. Make the jump, just do it. Let yourself go. You won't regret it! And hopefully this isn’t the end. If it is, then we’ve had an amazing year regardless. If it’s not, then it can only get better!!

Embrace that which is NKOTB.

Let’s get this!


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Thursday, May 14, 2009

They Say It's Your Birthday....It's My Birthday Too..

Well today is my birthday.

I could be celebrating it with a certain Danny Wood tonight here:


And this is what I could be doing to celebrate the rest of the weekend…

But I'm not, and as sad as it makes me to not be doing those things, I had to make a grown-up decision on this one to make up for all of the adolescent ones I've already made and will be making the rest of the summer when it comes to these guys.

What will I be doing instead?

Honestly, nothing more than what I do every day now.  I'm also on this really strict eating plan called Metabolic Balance - so yeah, no birthday cake for this woman.  Karma really does suck when you're on the wrong end of it.  Last year, I was given 4 different cakes throughout the month of May because different groups of people wanted to celebrate it with me.  Guess the universe thought I had more than my fair share last year so we needed to even it out in this one.

Don't feel bad for me though, I really do have a blessed life.  I have a job that pays and treats me relatively fairly.  I have a comfortable home and transportation.  I don't have to worry about going hungry (unless I purposely do it like on this freakin' eating plan).  I have the love of my family, and the dream of one day experiencing requited love is still alive and well.

I really do have it all.  Happy Birthday to ME!

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Unofficial Officially Twisted Video

A couple of weeks ago, I considered going goth.  No it wasn't my idea, it was Donnie Wahlberg's. And I did consider it. For a second.  I didn't end up doing it because well, I was just lazy and not that goth was too "out there" for me.  Besides it being a contest for the best video submission there were pics submitted too.  A few minutes ago, Donnie tweeted the result.  Enjoy!


When Fan Meets NKOTB

25 Things About Me

I posted this a while ago on Facebook when it was circulating like mad around that network.  I've been debating on posting it here because I wasn't sure how personal I wanted to get about myself on this forum.  Then in the infamous words of Mr. Wahlberg (which he conveniently set to really catchy music just so I can never stop playing it in my head), I just thought "I don't give a f*ck."  This is me.

1. I was trilingual at one point early on in life – English, Mandarin Chinese and Norwegian. I was born in Norway, so I apparently picked up the language from TV. The other two came from my parents. Today I only speak English and some basic Spanish (gracias Sra. Grogan), go figure.

2. I am an only child; however I have many brothers and sisters in the form of soul friends that have come in and out of my life. I don’t keep in touch with all of these people regularly, or at all, but I will always consider them family.

3. My first crush was John Travolta. I was three years old and was supposed to be asleep in the back of my parents’ station wagon when they went to the drive-in to see Grease. I woke up just as Danny Zuko was being introduced and John’s beautiful face and blue eyes filled that screen. What a wonderful way to discover boys! He will always hold a special place in my heart.

4. If I could make a living as a writer, I would love to do it. I just need to decide to go for it.

5. My dream is to live on the oceanfront, not just near it. The sound and feel of water brings such calmness to my mind and spirit.

6. #5 may explain why I do my best thinking in the shower. Some people “sleep on it.” I bathe.

7. I grew up Baptist, but now I identify more with Eastern religions – though I don’t claim any one as my own. What I do believe in and what is common among all religions is that there is something outside of us out there. I think we would be naïve to think otherwise.

8. I love love LOVE all things with bling – to a point that it may be embarrassing (that is, to someone else). If you want to distract me, pull out something sparkly.

9. I’ve shared “moments” with Tim McGraw, Michael Bublè and Donnie Wahlberg. Love Bublè, but the moments with Tim and Donnie were truly full circle life moments and reaffirmation that “impossible” dreams aren’t necessarily so impossible after all. Not about who it was I shared an experience with necessarily, but more about what it meant to me and why.

10. I’ve only truly fallen in love once in my life. It’s true what they say. If you feel the need to question whether you were (are) in love with someone, then you weren’t. There is absolutely no doubt involved when it happens. 

11. I still haven’t figured out why I can’t adequately find the words to verbalize my experiences in #9 to express why it was so special, but I can totally blog about #10.

12. #10 was unrequited, and truth be told, I would give up everything else on my list of things I want to do before I die to experience true love requited.

13. I unequivocally believe that every moment in life is perfect. It may be a painful moment or a spectacularly fabulous one, but every moment is perfection.

14. My heart breaks a little (or a lot) every time I see a bride walk down the aisle on her father’s arm or dance with her father at the reception because I know for sure that this is one childhood dream that will never come true for me. 

15. I love to sing because I can express and release emotions that I can’t seem to get out any other way. I will rarely do it for public consumption, so you can ask but don’t hold your breath. It’s truly personal to me.

16. Ever since I can remember, I’ve known my purpose in life is to impact people on a very large scale. That’s cool, right? But I haven’t figured out how I’m supposed to do that or why. I’ve impacted people one-on-one, and even in a group of about 50, but I’m talking large scale here. I’m guessing ya’ll will know when I’ve figured it out.

17. I lived in the South when I was young, and I’ve retained some of that drawl – though it pretty much only comes out when I’m pissed, tired or drunk.

18. I have this desire to get a tattoo, but I don’t know if I will actually go through with it. I’ve picked out the design and color scheme. It’s the location that I can’t commit to.

19. I believe that in most cases, kissing is more intimate than sex. No, I did not get that from Pretty Woman. It’s from personal experience.

20. I have this weird fascination with catalogs. I think this has been the case from birth since I have baby pictures with me being entertained with the Sears catalog in my hot pink Winnie the Pooh footie pajamas on our hardwood living room floor in Oslo. Sexy, no?

21. Music is my strongest emotional anchor. A movie or tv show can bring me to tears, and a book can make me feel like I’m falling in love alongside the characters (thank you Twilight), but music truly transports me to another place. For some of you, this will explain why I suddenly had tears in my eyes at the oddest times.

22. I have a desire to go to law school – but no desire to be a lawyer.

23. I will spend and have spent the money to go on the World of Coca-Cola tour every time I’m in Vegas just to get to the perfectly mixed fountain Coke at the end of it. I would probably go out of my mind if I ever visited the HQ in Atlanta.

24. My guilty pleasures include anything Gossip Girl, Twilight or Sex and the City related. You thought I was going to say NKOTB, didn’t you? There is not one ounce of guilt I feel from the pleasure derived from anything related to NKOTB. :-)

25. I wholeheartedly believe in karma. What you put out there is always returned eventually in some form or fashion (and it’s not always obvious when it comes back to you). So to all who read this, I wish a life full of love, laughter and fulfillment.


Monday, May 11, 2009

Mondays Aren't Called Monday For Nothin'

Well all the NKOTB fans were excited for today because today, Mr. Donnie Wahlberg promised an announcement. A big one.  Related to all the fun surprises in store....

That announcement from Donnie?  Well, it's apparently still comin.'  Tomorrow.

But don't feel sad for us...yet.  There was a big announcement today from the NKOTB camp. Just an announcement that NO ONE wanted to receive:

Due to unforeseen production delays, the summer New Kids On The Block tour has made necessary changes to the tour dates and venues. The new tour schedule is listed below. If you have questions regarding your specific show, please contact your local venue who can issue refunds if necessary or provide more information.

5/28 MOVED to June 4th Atlanta, GA Lakewood Amphitheatre

CANCELED Birmingham, AL Verizon Wireless
CANCELED Tampa, FL Ford Amphitheatre
CANCELED West Palm Beach, FL Cruzan Amphitheater
CANCELED Charlotte, NC Verizon Wireless Amph
CANCELED Raleigh, NC Time Warner Cable Music Pavilion

THU 6/4/09 Atlanta, GA Lakewood Amphitheatre
FRI 6/5/09 Virginia Beach, VA Verizon Wireless
SAT 6/6/09 Camden, NJ Susquehanna Bank Center
SUN 6/7/09 Washington, D.C. Patriots Center
WED 6/10/09 Scranton, PA Toyota Pavilion
THU 6/11/09 Pittsburgh, PA Post Gazette Pavilion
FRI 6/12/09 Wantagh, NY Jones Beach
SAT 6/13/09 Holmdel, NJ PNC Bank Arts Center
SUN 6/14/09 Buffalo, NY Darien Lake PAC
TUE 6/16/09 Saratoga Springs, NYSPAC
THU 6/18/09 Uncasville, CT Mohegan Sun
FRI 6/19/09 Boston, MA Comcast Center
SAT 6/20/09 Montreal, QC VFEST
SUN 6/21/09 Toronto, ON Molson Amphitheatre
TUE 6/23/09 Cleveland, OH Blossom Music Center
THU 6/25/09 Detroit, MI DTE Energy Music Ctr.
FRI 6/26/09 Chicago, IL First Midwest Bank Amph
SAT 6/27/09 Cincinnati, OH Riverbend Music Center
SUN 6/28/09 Indianapolis, IN Verizon Amphitheater
WED 7/1/09 St. Louis, MO Verizon Wireless
THU 7/2/09 Memphis, TN Mud Island
FRI 7/3/09 Wichita, KS Hartman Arena
TUE 7/7/09 Seattle, WA White River Amphitheatre
THU 7/9/09 San Francisco, CA Concord at the Sleep Train Pavillion
FRI 7/10/09 Irvine, CA Verizon Wireless
SAT 7/11/09 Las Vegas, NV The Pearl
SUN 7/12/09 Phoenix, AZ Cricket Pavilion
WED 7/15/09 Denver, CO Fiddlers Green Amph
FRI 7/17/09 Dallas, TX Center
SAT 7/18/09 Houston, TX Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion

Now my very good Blogger and Twitter friends @insearchofnkotb, M&M, were planning a Dirty Dirty South tour, which now obviously has been defeated by "production delays."  Damn South fell again.  Very sad for them, but now there's enough cushion for a Wild West Tour instead.  ;-) 

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