Monday, April 6, 2009

A Beautiful Disaster

In the years since the joy (or lack thereof) that was my pre-teen and teen years, I've had a LOT of up and downs, love and loss, as I would think everyone else on the planet. While I'm ecstatic over the wisdom I have acquired with age, it becomes painfully evident that some feelings never fully disappear.

A couple of posts ago, I ended with a "disclaimer" on how much of my blog will probably have a Donnie Wahlberg/NKOTB focus - at least for the next few months. Over the last year I've been thoroughly re-living the joy of loving all things DW and NKOTB related from those years. But re-living those feelings also brought up certain feelings that no matter how much personal development work I've done, how many fires I've physically walked over (no, that's not a metaphor), how many boards I break with my bare hands, there's a deep rooted pain that hasn't yet been obliterated from my heart. Today, I had pangs of those feelings rise up as I was out and about and heard the following song come on the speaker of wherever it is I was. And no, I don't think it was a coincidence...what you focus on, you draw to you as has been proven to me over and over and over. It now occurs to me that I may have posted this song and video in a post a while ago. Obviously a recurring theme song for me.
Any of you feel the same way every now and then?


Beautiful Disaster
performed by Jon McLaughlin

She loves her mama's lemonade,
Hates the sounds that goodbyes make.
She prays one day she'll find someone to need her.
She swears that there's no difference,
Between the lies and complements.
It's all the same if everybody leaves her.
And every magazine tells her she's not good enough,
The pictures that she sees make her cry.
And she would change everything, everything just ask her.
Caught in the in between
A beautiful disaster,
And she needs someone to take her home.
She's giving boys what they want, tries to act so nonchalant,
Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction.
She never stays the same for long,
Assuming that she'll get it wrong.
Perfect only in her imperfection.
She's not a drama queen,
She doesn't want to feel this way, only seventeen but tired
She would change everything for happy ever after.
Caught in the in between
A beautiful disaster,
But she just needs someone to take her home.
Cuz she's just the way she is, but no ones told her that's ok.
And she would change everything, everything just ask her.
Caught in the in between
A beautiful disaster,
And she would change everything for happy ever after.
Caught in the in between
A beautiful disaster,
But she just needs someone to take her home
And just needs someone to take her home.



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