Saturday, February 28, 2009

My Inner Color

Your Inner Color is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart.

You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone.

Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satisfied. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

Deep Thoughts...with Dr. Frasier Crane

"You aren't mourning the loss of your boyfriend. You're mourning the loss of the life you thought you were going to have. That's not necessarily a bad thing... Things have a way of working out." ~Dr. Frasier Crane

It's funny when "aha" moments pop up in your life. It could be just a sudden realization, you witness something that enlightens you, or you innocently watch a rerun of a sitcom and a statement just "clicks."

That quote was absolutely right because as soon as I absorbed it, the weight lifted. A few days ago, I wrote about my heart being broken. I'm not mourning the loss of my previous job, my previous company, my previous co-workers. I'm mourning the loss of the life I thought I was going to have being in the position I had worked so hard to achieve and had taken away from me.

I've also not been mourning the loss of the possible love of Mr. Blue Eyes all those years ago. I've been mourning this life I had created in my mind of how great it would be to live the rest of my life growing from the relationship we had started to develop. So good, so close, so connected.
One of my constant struggles is being able to let go. I just discovered the key: understanding exactly what it is that you need to let go of. That makes all the difference in the world.

Monday, February 23, 2009

My Oscar

On my bucket list, I listed that I want to attend the Oscars as an invited guest. Now in my mind, that could mean that I was someone's plus one. It's not that I don't think I could ever be nominated for an Oscar, it's just not that important to me really. I've always just wanted to be in the room.

Last night, I mentioned this to my mom, and she said she'd wish I would start writing again (she meant really write) because I would be invited for my own screenplay, not just someone's arm candy. She has tapped into Nostradamus before for the oddest things that strangely came true. Who knows? This may be another one....

You Would Win Best Original Screenplay

You are insightful and expressive. You've always been a natural storyteller.

You know how to hook an audience, entertain them, and surprise them at the end.

Where people see everyday life, you see an engaging plot with interesting characters.

You notice details that other people ignore. People you've only met once or twice live inside your head.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Broken Heart

The last 7 or 8 months I've been in kind of a funk. It obviously comes and goes, and if you look at my twitter feed or Facebook or other places where I more frequently update the goings on of my daily life, it isn't all consuming. Those that have been intimately involved in my life for the last few years can tell that there's been an undercurrent of something heavy - something sad that's been plaguing me for a short bit. (In the scheme of a lifetime, 7 or 8 months really is a "short bit.")

Anyway, in the depth of a fatigued stupor at 2am this morning, it all came clear to me. Funny how clarity arrives when you don't have the energy to make excuses, over analyze, etc. the situation.

What was this clarity?
My heart broke last year, and I didn't really know it.

How, you may ask, does someone or something break your heart, and you don't even know it?

When you deny that your heart was in it to begin with.


Let me try to elaborate:

From 2005 through the middle of 2008 I worked for a company that I loved. I completely believed in the leaders of the company, the business model, the integrity of what I was doing and the opportunities that working at this company would provide me. For the first time I felt like I was getting paid fairly, valued as an employee and empowered to make a difference in people's lives. I was so inspired by my professional life going so well that it made me want to work on me - my own personal development. So that's what I did. I embarked on 3 year journey (so far) into making me the best possible version of myself and knocking out the crap that was keeping me from being that person now. Let me tell you, I was on a roll! I've done, seen, experienced things in my life that I never ever thought would be part of my life story prior to the last 3 years. I met amazing people, traveled to amazing places, done amazing things. It's been phenomenal!

And then things started to decline at my company.

A wise man once said that's it's easy to treat people well and respectful when times are good, but the true measure of a great company or leader is how they treat people - how they act - when times aren't so good. Let's just say, that my situation was immensely disappointing. So much so that I questioned my judgment in the people I trusted. I have to say that I was almost always treated respectfully. But everyone wasn't treated the same way, and because I was in more of a "protected group," I was expected to go along with what leadership was doing, saying, expressing. The integrity of who I am didn't really jive with what I was being asked or expected to do.

So, I made a decision to leave, and within 2 weeks of that decision, I found another job and put in my notice. I had to give a 30-day notice, so it was a long break-up. Even though I enjoy my new company and am thrilled to be out of that situation, I've been in mourning over the break-up - the lost love. Yes, I did really love my job that much.

And I just realized it - this morning. Let the healing begin!

The Making of 2AM

Find more videos like this on New Kids on the Block

Nine Words Women Use

Got this sent to me in my email today, and it's absolutely true.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: Th is is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Monday, February 16, 2009

45 Life Lessons by Regina Brett

[Image by Mary Brown: Source]

My uncle just sent me this, and I love it so much, I think I'm going to post it up in my bedroom, office, car...

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

" To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled
over to 90 in August, so here goes:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. Love your parents because they will be gone before you know it.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for o ld age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Mira cles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift. "

Like a Needle in a Haystack
LogoThere are
people with my name in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Who Wants to Be a Multi-Millionaire?

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 84%

It's almost certain you'll be a multimillionaire. Just keep doing what you're doing.

You are good with money, a creative thinker, and an ethical person. You might be the next Donald Trump!

Yada Yada About Me

L-A-S-T :

01. Last Cigarette: I seem to recall having a random one last year.
02. Last Movie: City of Angels - needed something to play in the background
03. Last Cry: Haven't had a really good one in a while, but I believe I shed some tears a couple of days ago
04. Last Library Book Checked Out: Since it was at least 20 years since I checked out a library book, I definitely don't remember what the book was.
05. Last Movie Seen In Theatres: Confessions of a Shopoholic
06. Last Book Read: Such a Pretty Fat
07. Last Cuss Word Uttered: S%#t
08. Last Beverage Drank: Fountain Coke
09. Last Food Consumed?: Affogato
11. Last TV Show Watched: Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice
12. Last Time Showered: This afternoon
13. Last Shoes Worn: black Dansko clogs
15. Last Soda Drank: Coke
16. Last Thing Written: My journal entry this morning
17. Last Words Spoken: Hmmm...
18. Last Annoyance: The weather

B - O - D - Y:
01. Piercings: Ears
02. Tattoos: None
03. Height: 5'7"
04. Shoe size: 8.5
05. Hair color: Dark brown
06. Eye color: Brown

L A S T . . .
01. Movie you rented: Netflixed "Who Killed the Electric Car"
03. Song you listened to: Fix You by Coldplay
04. Song that was stuck in your head: Womanizer - I know, I kno
05. Person that called you: Mary

T R U E O R F A L S E . . .
01. You have a crush on someone: False
02. You wish you could live somewhere else: True
03. Think about suicide: True
04. You believe in a God: True
05. You want more Piercings: False
06. You drink/have been drunk: True
07. You do/did drugs: False
08. You smoke/have smoked: True
09. You like cleaning: Sometimes true
10. You like roller coasters: True
11. You write in cursive: True

F O R *O R * A G A I N S T...
01. Long distance relationship: For
02. Teenage smoking: Against
03. Doing drugs: Against
04. Driving drunk: Against
06. Someone uses someone for their goodies: Against

01. Ever cried over the opposite sex: Yes
02. Ever lied to someone: Yes
03. Ever been in a fist fight: No
04. Ever been arrested: No

01. Of times you have been REALLY in love? 1
02. Of times you have had your heart broken? Too many
03. Of hearts you have broken? No idea
04. Of different drugs taken? Does OTC count? Geez - I have no idea
05. Of people you consider your enemies? 0
06. Of scars on your body? At least 5
07. Of things in your past that you regret: 0
08. Number of things your addicted to? Wow - with somewhat of an addictive personality...couldn't begin to count

1) Do you have over 100 friends?: Yes
2) Do you have pictures of yourself? Yes
3) Do you get 1-3 comments every day?: More or less - depends if I'm active on the site that day
4) What does it mean?: It means people care enough to spend some energy responding to what I post.

2) Sleep in the same bed? Yup
3) Rob a bank?: No
4) Team up together and kill someone?: Doubtful

1) Do you have a wood floor or carpet?: Carpet
2) Are your walls painted bright colors?: Painted yes, bright no
3) Do you have artwork hanging up on the walls?: Photos of tulips
4) Do you have clothes on the floor?: Currently yes
6) Do you have a hidden stash of candy somewhere?: Yes
7) Do you have your own TV?: Yes
8) Do you have over 100 CDs?: Definitely
9) Do you have a bunch of pictures of bands and celebrities?: Not anymore

1) Sing a solo?: Yes
2) Take an hour-long shower?: When I have the time
3) Smoke pot just to be cool?: Isn't high school over?
4) Spend all night on homework?: Used to

1) More than one person?: No
2) Daisies?: Tulips
3) To paint your fingernails? Yup!
4) Music?: LOVE IT
5) Black raspberry ice cream?: Not a fan of raspberry but totally a fan of ice cream!
6) The beach?: Yes
7) Cats?: Not really

Is your hair up?: Ponytail
Is your phone right beside you?: Yup
Do you wish you were somewhere else?: Yup
Are you cold?: Yup
Are you excited?: Not currently
Are you watching T.V.?: Yup
Recently done anything you regret?: No
Ever lied?: Yup
Ever trip over your own feet?: Yup
Ever thrown up because you cried so hard?: Yup

Have any plans?: None that aren't work related
Have you yelled at someone?: Nope
Have you cried?: Yup
Have you called more than 3 people?: No

1. First thing you did this morning?: Figured out what I was going to do today
2. Do you consider yourself good looking?: Let's put it this way, I don't consider myself bad looking
3. Do you have a crush? No
4. What's something you look foward to in the next six weeks: My business trip to Europe
5. What's annoying you right now?: That I still have half of my online traffic school to finish, and I've run out of things to do to put it off longer.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You

Set in Baltimore, He's Just Not That Into You takes viewers through various relationships of its nine (yes, I said nine) characters - some plots more intertwined than others. Rather than give a summary of all of the various relationships happening here, I'm just going to direct you to the synopsis on the movie's website here: He's Just Not That Into You official site.

What I didn't like about this movie:

I thought I would start out with this first because, well, there wasn't much that I didn't like.

Drew Barrymore - Now, I love Drew Barrymore. I loved Drew Barrymore as Mary. What I didn't love was the lack of the development of Drew's character. Out of all of the characters in the movie, this was the one I felt I knew the least about. She just kind of flitted in and out of the various montages as the movie skipped from one storyline to another. I'm guessing this is likely due to the wonderful world of editing, but still, I wasn't thrilled with this.

The spice company - Okay, I admit, this is kind of a petty dislike. Granted these ladies had to work someplace, and I can't remember the last time a script set the professional workplace to be a spice company. But for whatever reason, this totally annoyed me.

What I liked about this movie:

Honestly, what I loved about this movie is the same as why I liked the book. While it's hard to have pointed out the reality that is right in front of your face, it's strangely liberating at the same time. There were nine characters in this movie that went through various common scenarios of relationships, and they all didn't turn out in the perfect movie ending formulaic way that say, New In Town did.

Here's another thing that I love when it happens in a theater - audience participation in reaction to what's happening on the screen. I went to a matinee, and I would say with the exception of about 3 men that came with their significant others, the theater was filled with women. Women that audibly gasped and reacted at the right moments. That was a nice surprise - that I wasn't the only one reacting.

Here's the deal:

If you loved Sex and the City, you will really enjoy this movie. Granted, you don't have 6 years to emotionally attach yourself to the characters, but you will find yourself identifying with at least one of these situations on some level. And if you're anything like me, you'll find yourself walking out of the theater pleasantly surprised that you're totally crushing on Justin Long.

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